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I was an ugly child
With a funny smile
With too many teeth
And no coordination with too left feet
My glasses
Were harder than my classes
In case you haven't heard
I was quite the nerd
I couldn't write the word
Like I can now
And I never got asked out
Except once as a joke
But I still felt like I was dope
Because I gifted at math
That's what's given this laugh
To my heart
Because looks were never the start
Of my search for confidence
I've only recently lost my innocence
Because of bitches who like assholes
And I ponder the strength of the black hole
That has taken away reality
And turned it into TV triviality
Back to my past
Before I got into Outkast
I wore boxers on top of my briefs
And the wonder years summed up my beliefs
I was in love with Winnie Cooper
And I thought Alex P. Keaton was super
I was 6'2" and 160
I was too skinny
And acne
Covered my face like pepperoni
But I was never lonely
Because I had my best friend and my family

Chorus: I was an ugly child with a funny smile

Now I'm just an average looking guy
But I'll look you in the eye
And you'll see that I won't lie
Because there's proof
Of the truth
That I have to say
And I have to play
Or my heart stops beating
And I'm not bleeding
If I'm dead
I'm not trying to get into your bed
I'm just trying to get into your head
Because Hollywood is hideous
And it won't get me bliss
To see anorexia starve the world of mental sustenance
It's fucked up what Hollywood says substance is
Fake breasts turn me off
They make sex burn me soft
And I won't see
The third degree
Burns
Until I've learned
That I'm stronger than most
The longer I boast
The more I lose credibility
And inevitably
Someone will end my career
If it even starts this year
I'll drop the metaphors
So you can get it more
You don't need lypo
And you won't see typos
When I tell you that you need to see
Your own inner beauty
Before anyone else will
So just pay your bills
And forget about the $300 heels
Or the breast enhancement pills
Plastic surgery
Murders the
Beauty you were given
And the body that you live in
Look into my eyes
And you may be surprised
That I'm looking for something inside
Something that won't hide behind
Mascara and lipstick
And the way that your hips sit
Above your thong
I want to love you strong
Because your strength
Isn't determined by the length
Of your shaven legs
I only kind of care that you haven't shaved in days
And I couldn't give a damn if you haven't paved the way
To the home
Of your errogenous zones
Just take care of yourself
And know that mental health
And true confidence
Are the sexiest
Assets
Even more than how your ass sits
In those too tight low rider jeans
I can tell you this because I was an ugly teen
Physically
And fiscally
I'm basically bankrupt
But thankfully gave love
To myself
So my mental health
Makes me amazingly attractive
Even though physically I am average

Chorus:

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